Well, pink is my favorite color...

I've contemplated about whether to blog about this for a few days. But today I just couldn't help myself. This morning I woke up to Janie barking in my bed and seconds later, my alarm went off. Thinking that Janie just anticipated the alarm, I slowly crawled out of bed, in no hurry to get around. After putting on my robe, I heard Amanda close the front door and yell to me "something for you at the door, Adrienne!" I rushed out of my room and there in Amanda's hands were these:

So Casey has stepped up to bat (pardon the extremely cheesy pun, I couldn't help it). He got me a dozen pink roses for my last day of law school classes -- don't get me wrong, it is a momentous occasion, but not one that I ever thought would deserve a gesture of this magnitude. This was really just the icing on the top of one of the most bizarre two weeks ever. And now, in less than one week after breaking up with his girlfriend, he has attempted to spend time with me in just about every waking moment that he's not studying (which thankfully, he studies a lot). It has been extremely convenient for me to put him off, using the excuse that he shouldn't be rushing into something so quickly after a break up.

But the flowers got me thinking today. Why is it so hard to make space for somone like him in my life? I's not really about the ex. It's really about all this: It's scary, it's anxiety-causing, it's fun, it's wierd, it's everything that puts nausea-inducing butterflies in your stomach. And frankly, I'm about two seconds away from running and hiding in a corner.

And then I realize that's where I've really been for the last five years. In a corner. Where opportunities are hard to come by. So I'm moving out. I'm making my way into the big scary world. And if Casey wants to come along, I'm not going to discourage him. Not yet, at least.